Nice People Scare Us, an excerpt from my book, “Radiate Soul Light” ©™


I believe that everyone we encounter in our lives has a reason, a purpose, for meeting us. Some greater than others, I’ll grant you that, but regardless, I believe that every person, every interaction has a lesson awaiting our grasp.

I recently befriended a woman whom I have to tell you, took one phone call to become an integral part of my life. Honestly, one, one hour phone call initiated by our children, who simply wanted to schedule a ‘play date’.

I had seen her before, last year in fact, as her son was in my son’s kindergarden class, but we never really connected, at least not in the physical. By this I mean, we were both attracted to one another, aware of the other’s existence in as much as a positive feeling towards the other.

Still, we had no idea whom the other really was. Here’s a little insight. I thought she was a typical Jewish young mom, living in Cote-St-Luc or Hampstead, married to a cute, sweet guy, happily living her carefree life of luxury and prestige.

Ya right!!! I couldn’t have been further off the mark!! First of all, she isn’t Jewish, she isn’t anything really as far as religion goes, she’s not living in Cote-St-Luc or Hampstead, her husband isn’t all that cute or sweet close up, and their marriage isn’t all that happy, let alone their life one of luxury and prestige!!!
And she, she is an amazing labyrinth of life’s ugliest and most beautiful experiences.

She hasn’t had an easy life by any means, and the stories I could tell!! What is remarkable however, is the lesson that this seemingly, religiously unaffiliated individual, who has seen and experienced some of the ugliest of horrors, our wonderful earth school has to offer, has to offer me. This beautiful sexy “yummy mummy” as we like to be called, this street smart woman of simple grammar, has provided me with one of the greatest spiritual lessons I have yet to encounter so intimately, with such influence, from another individual.

Here I am, the great spiritual priestess, the ontological philosopher of life, of human experience and existence, engaging whomever I can in deep philosophical conversation, nice suburban upbringing, university graduate, consummate student of the esoteric, learning one of life’s greatest lessons from this wonderfully unpretentious, unbelievably complex woman, my new friend.

Sure, I can talk the talk, but she, she walks the walk!!! Education, study, it’s all great, but to transcend that which we learn and know, into that which we are….simply stated, AWEsome Inspiration.  I could study my spiritual philosophies until the end of time, it would pale in comparison to the one who, having no religious or seemingly spiritual affiliation what so ever, has been able to transcend all, and lead a life of example.

I watch her, I listen as she talks on the phone, interacts with people, either known to her or not, and regardless of the situation, regardless of her own personal emotions, she always greets them with a smile. Don’t get put off now, she’s not perfect, she is after all a human, just one amongst all of us, but she is most definitely amongst the more spiritual of us, whether she identifies herself as such or not. And, just for the record, she like most people in my life, think I’m a little kookie with all my spiritual talk, she has never been one to knowingly philosophize. But oh, how she does philosophize, how she is able to transcend any exterior paraphernalia to get straight to the heart of another’s motives.

Recount a story to her about an argument you’ve had with someone, she doesn’t even have to know them, and very nonchalantly she’ll tell you exactly why the other person said or acted the way they did. She knows people instinctually, and what is so very attractive about her, is as she is so unaware of how perceptive she is, completely devoid of any pretentious superiority, she is.

What’s her trick? How does she do it? How can she always be ‘spiritual’? How can she always be nice?


One of her greatest personal mandates is to be liked, but not just sometimes or by some people, all the time, by everyone. How she came to this mandate has much to do with how she spent her youth, however, she like the rest of us, had a choice in how she was going to lead her life, and this choice is always available to us, always malleable, capable of growth and enlightenment.

To achieve her mandate, she is the nicest person she can be, all the time. She could be talking divorce and you’ll want to reach out and hug her. She’s just like that.

We’re out in a club, dancing away, and this group of ‘very present’ girls comes in. I immediately scope them out, and am accosted with fears of their judgment. She on the other hand, without so much as a moment’s hesitation gives them this huge smile and continues through-out the evening to enjoy their interactions, watching them unabashedly, smiling all the while and truly enjoying their experience. I tried, the universe knows I did, but I couldn’t casually watch them without feeling that they would catch my eye and give me a much chagrined look. So, I, as we often times do, averted my eyes and attention as much as possible. How sad for me, not to be able to go out into our world and enjoy the beauty that we are all apart of.

Again, she is not perfect, and when it is safe, when no-one can be hurt by it, she will vent her fears, her angers and frustrations. I told you, she is one of us after all, she’s just chosen to show the rest of the world that side of herself she knows is more appealing.

And this is my lesson. Can I learn to be nice, positive, and always greet others lovingly? Can I learn to believe in my true nature, align myself with my soul identity? Can I learn to trust in the loving, compassionate, nice side of myself?

You see, she’s not just nice to other people, she identifies herself as a nice person, not all the time of course, but overall, if you asked her to describe her personality she would tell you, “I am a nice person.”, and so, she is.

Could it be that simple?
It is, but, it isn’t.

Completely identifying ourselves with the good within, can surprisingly, be very difficult in face of the many fears we have come to believe, and thus internalized. I am amongst the most guilt-ridden individuals that I know. This guilt, derived from one of my great fears, often times finds me reacting in a defensive manner. This defensive manner more often than not, stimulates a negative defensive reaction from whomever I am engaging.

The lesson here, act in a certain way and expect to be treated in like accord.

More times than not, anyway. There are of course those individuals whom encounter a nice person and unable to handle this seemingly foreign experience, as we have all become such a fear ridden species, react in a negative or dismissive manner. On the flip side, there are those individuals, like my friend, who see someone’s fear and embrace it with love.

Ultimately, we have two choices in our lives. We may learn, grow, teach, experience, perceive and live our life through love, which starts of course with loving ourselves, or through fear.

We all encompass both these qualities. We all have good and evil, love and hate, fear and belief within us.
We all encompass the power of choice in deciding which of these we shall gravitate towards.

It is not easy to erase all the negative influences in your life, all the put downs, violence, and disappointments. If we would try, every day, even just once, to be nice to another human being, take an opportunity in which we may otherwise be dismissive, disrespectful, or negative, and truly make an effort to just, be nice, I think we all would benefit from my friend’s most valuable example.

I know I’ve been trying, and the result is always one that leaves me feeling elated and somehow connected with all. I am rewarded with a profound love for this gift of ours, our earth school, her inhabitants, and wonderfully, me.

Blissedly BE
Radiating LOVE,

“Radiate Soul Light”©™ was writ by Roni Lipstein in 2001 whilst living in Montreal, Quebec, Canada with her son, Zion.
If you are a publisher interested in publishing “Radiate Soul Light”©™, get in touch with Roni directly to request a publishing package through the link available in the “About the Author” section below.
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About the author
Rhonda Sheryl Lipstein, Roni.   Roni has been providing Holistic Life Coaching including Therapy, Fitness Programs/Training and Nutritional Consultation for nearly 18 years. To arrange your one-on-one session with Roni »» Get in Touch TODAY «« Follow us on Twitter: @radiate | @ArtWave | @BeingLoveTV

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